20033139 how much love can be back again
"Once a true love in front of me, I didn’t value it. If I have the chance again, I would say: “I love you.” Almost everyone has heard this sentence many times." But how many of them have the experience like that?
In my high school, I have a girlfriend called Jing. She is a very obedient girl. She loved me very much, and I also loved her deeply. Though I had never said: “I love you.” to her, and never showed that I depend on her very much. I just kept my love in my heart.
One day, I played card with my friends in one of my friend’s home. I found that I had no cigarette .So I called Jing and asked her to buy a pack of cigarette for me, “Go to the supermarket to buy a pack of cigarette for me.”
“It has been eleven o’ clock in the night now. You ask her to buy alone, didn’t you? Do you know it is a long way to get there?” My friend said.
I said nothing.
After a while, she didn’t move. “Didn’t you hear what I said? Be quick! ”. I blamed her. She said nothing. A moment later, she ran out of the house with tears. My friends asked me to look for her. I didn’t. And I continue to play card with them.
Until four o’ clock, she didn’t come back. One of my friends said that we should go out to look for her. I didn’t agree and continue to play card.
At five o’clock we went out to look for her. But we can not find her and she was not at home. So I thought of the supermarket. Maybe she has been there. Though I did not have much hope of that I can found her there I also do that. I went alone the road to the supermarket I found that she lying in the center of the road with red liquid around her. I ran toward her at once and see a pack of cigarette in her hand and tears in her eyes.
……
After that I did not play any more like before and always have few words. I can not forget her and her shadow always take on my mind at times. I can not live there any more and I must leave there. So I came to Shihezi university. Before I came here I had gone to her grave and put a pack of cigarette and a bear doll which she hoped to have for a long time on her tomb.
Although four years had been gone and I left there, I still can not recover from the sadness and still with few words. I did not tell anyone here of what had happened on me before. For this reason some people called me “mystifying”. I did not care about what they treat me like. I do not want to explain and have no physical strength to explain it. There is no necessary to do that because I did not need their sympathy.
Now I have been in the university for three years, I did not have a girlfriend .I still can not forget her and the life we lived together. I do not know whether I have the right to love and to be loved. I don not know when I can step out the sadness.
